"Have you ever watched your parents while they were asleep? Your father's body once big and strong, the big is withered and the strong is weaker. Wisps of grey picked up from his hair, wrinklers now "scar"his forehead and face. This man works hard every day and would sacrifice anything to make sure his family is provided for and his children get the best education possible.
Or how about your mother, whose soft hand once cuddled and held you close when you were a baby? Now those hand are dry and rough, bearing evidence of challenges she faced just for us. This woman takes care of our daily needs, constantly nagging and scolding us because of her love to us. But often we misconstrue her love as control and unfairness.
I have never thought of watching my parents while they sleep. I've watched my cousins sleep when they were babies, all round and cuddly and sweet smelling. But watch my parents? No way!
But after reading this message, I realised that there is indeed much truth in it. In fact they do not have to be asleep for me to realize that they have aged. Just looking at my mother walk tells me that her legs are not as strong as they were before. Or hearing her ask me for help with that flowerpot in the garden, the one she used to be able to push and drag around the garden without my help. Or watching my dad lift 10kg of rice. I can easily carry that bag now. I am young. But to him it is a struggle.
What do all these observations tell me? Yes, my parents have aged. They are ageing, just as I am ageing. But as I aged towards my best years and become stronger, they in turn become weaker. The were once a caregiver and I the receiver. In time I know our roles will reverse. Like it or not, want it or not, this is life. I supposed that I have subconsciously thought that my parents will always be with me, never grow old. It took that message to make me realize that my parents are not immortal. That they too will one day leave the world and me. Until then I will make use of our time together."
There's truth in the above article and no denying about it. I wish I could still watch my beloved Mak while she sleep. But I could no longer do that coz she passed away on 30th April 2004 after a short battle with breast cancer. She fought hard, but the cancer had spread to her lung. God had better plans for her. We knew the whole things were not good, but we always held on to hope and that's what got us through it all. Mak passed away peacefully.
Not a day goes by where I do not think of Mak. Come close to shedding a tear and long to hear her laugh and voice. But I do know that one day we will see each other again, and never be separated, insya-allah.
My goal in life now is to take care of my family, live my life honestly and with pride. To never take another day for granted. And to make Mak proud with every one of my actions.
Mak, terima kasih kerana menyayangi Nizan. Terima kasih kerana memberi tunjuk ajar dan terima kasih kerana memberi kehidupan kepada anakmu ini. Terima kasih atas peluk ciummu dan senda guraumu. Terima kasih kerana menjadi Mak yang Terunggul di Dunia. I miss you more than I can express, but I know you are always with me.
Al-Fatihah untuk Allahyarhamah Mak, Ainun @ Rokiah Haji Ali.Semoga roh Mak dalam rahmat dan redha Illahi.
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